Beautiful Sorrow
by princess-of-wushu
Summary: He wiped the tears from his eyes before taking his fingers and gently tracing at the long deep scares across her bare chest. He then gently bent over and kissed each one before he cupped her face and gently kissed her lips while whispering " I love you, and no matter what you're still beautiful to me."
1. Chapter 1

**_"Beautiful Sorrow"_**

He wiped the tears from his eyes before taking his fingers and gently tracing at the long deep scares across her bare chest. He then gently bent over and kissed each one before he cupped her face and gently kissed her lips while whispering " I love you, and no matter what you're still beautiful to me."

I can't say how I felt numb, afraid, scared to death. I believe all of these emotions are possible especially for one like me. I had never felt more out of place in a world where I had always found my place than I did now, if it hadn't been for Matt or my best friend Tai. I think I would have ended up dead, I know I would have. Because alone I could hardly even walk, bathe or consider anything else without them. They were my vessels for life.

"**One Year Prior"**

**Chapter 1**

_**Sora's P.O.V**_

"Sora?" I jumped as I heard my name called and quickly threw the papers I was looking at under my pillow and turned to greet him.

"You're home early Matt"

"Yeah, we got done early so they let me leave. What's that?" Matt was leaning against our bedroom door frame and pointing to the papers peeking out of the corner of my pillow.

"Oh, nothing. I'm still trying to sort through things here and get them in order. I didn't expect it to take this long to get the place in order."

I seen him frown and then walk towards me. Pulling me into a hug, He kissed the top of my head. "Sor, we've been here a week. You can't think you would have everything in complete order yet and besides tonight's special. I don't want you working." He pulled me out from our hug and looked at me with his eyes sparkling and spoke again. "Here, take this and head out to the mall and get a new dress and things for tonight and I'll meet you at the restaurant by say 6:30, that ok?"

"Yeah." I grabbed the money from his hand and slumped back down onto the bed. "Alright just give me a minute to change; I don't want to go looking like this." I pointed to my sweats and un-brushed hair. He seemed to buy it; he walked back out of the room. I quickly grabbed the papers and tossed them into my purse with the money he had given me. I ran the brush through my hair and quickly changed into some shorts and a tee.

I'm sure it was 3 hours later and I was still sitting in my car in front of the mall. I had re-read those papers until I had them memorized. I had analyzed them and put them into every perspective, there was no changing what they said. It just involved changing me. I quickly looked into the mirror, my eyes where swollen and I looked like hell. Happy Anniversary to me. Matt and I had now officially been married for 2 years and had just moved into a bigger and nicer apartment. I had no choice but to hope I could pull off looking happy and pretty for this evening. He had been planning it for months now and here I was about to ruin it. I got out and forced my legs to carry me through the mall. What I wouldn't give to have Mimi here with me, but she had to move off to America and drag Izzy with her. She could pull this miracle off.

Took me an hour but I found a simple midnight blue strapless dress that was snug to the hips and then flowed out to the knees. I also bought a pair of strappy silver heels. I paid for the items and realized I only had 10 minutes to get to the beauty salon for my appointment.

Running I made it right on time. Smiling, the girl called me in back and began my transformation. I wanted a simple up do and natural looking makeup. It took 3 girls but they managed, Hair nails and make up, they also let me change in the back, Nikki, Chi and Liz. My Mimi doubles that always took my appointments when I made them. Bless their hearts; they understood just what a tomboy I was. "Sora that ring is still just gorgeous girl. You better keep that man of yours close." Forcing a smile I replied. "Thank you, and trust me I do." Blushing I paid and left a nice tip, glancing down at my 3 carrot princess cut diamond that took up my hand and rushed out the door.

I was tapping my manicured nails on the steering wheel, nearly ready to chew them off as I waited outside the restaurant. Matt had told me not to go inside until he came to get me. Glancing around I spotted him walking towards me in his black suit and famous smile. My heart sank. All that happiness was about to be drained from him. My heart started to race as he opened my door and put his hand out. I smiled and took it. He had no idea just how much I was going to be needing him.

We walked inside and my ears where greeted by live classical musical. Our table had at least 3 dozen roses with lilies, my favorite. Matt pulled my chair our and helped me sit. Sitting across from me he took my hand and kissed it. "I love you, happy anniversary." Yup, there went every bit of courage I had mustered. I felt that lump form in my throat and my eyes swell up. "Oh Matt, this is beautiful. I love you too. Thank you." He was always the perfect gentile men.

He smiled and spoke so sweetly back. "Thank you for being so patient, and everything I've needed to get me where I 'am today and where we are today." What he spoke was of course nothing but the truth; it had been a real challenge. Countless all-nighters, first name bases at the local coffee shop but we pulled it off and he graduated from university with honors and was now a CEO at the local law firm office. I of course graduated early from art school and took up a side of coaching high-school soccer with Tai. Regardless of all of this, I needed to tell him the truth; I couldn't hide it any longer. I was already losing my baring.

"Yamato I , I need to tell you something."

His face instantly changed. He knew I never called him that unless it was important. "What's wrong?"

" well, the truth is I'm sick."

"Do we need to go home?" He instantly went to stand but I put my hands up to stop him. "No, it's not that simple I just can't go home and rest. "

"Then what is it? Please just tell me Sor"

I felt my eyes betray me and the single tears roll down my checks as I spoke. "I have breast cancer and they think the cells are growing rapidly."

He sat there, not moving or seeming like he was breathing for that matter. Then his eyes found mine and for once they were the same, reflecting with fear and uncertainty. "How long have you known?"

"They have been running different tests now for over a month, but everything has come back positive and I've known the truth since this morning. That's what those papers where and I received a phone call from the office.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner Sora?" I seen betrayal form in his eyes but he held it back.

"I didn't know how too, they told me it was nothing to be concerned with, that cysts happen all the time and it would probably be ok. But they were wrong."

I expected him to get upset, to be mad, but that wasn't the case, Not at all. He stood up and grabbed me into his arms. I wrapped mine back around in return "Sora, No matter what, I'm going to help you through this. I love you." I heard him choke up and whisper. "God."

_**Matt's P.O.V**_

first I was hurt that she didn't tell me right away , but I quickly realized it wasn't about how I felt, in fact it didn't matter at all. She needed me and I was going to make sure she got everything she needed. I remember just holding her in my arms for what felt like forever. I didn't want to let go. She was my best friend, my wife and the person I loved above all. I didn't want to lose her.


	2. Chapter 2

"_**Beautiful Sorrow"**_

Since that night at the restaurant, nothing had improved for me. I was now on medical leave at the high-school and the doctor had met with Matt and me to discuss my treatment and outcome statistics. He explained to us that I had IBC. Inflammatory breast cancer, a rare but aggressive form that had to be treated quickly, I was to start with higher levels of chemo, and then I would have the surgery to remove my breast as long as the cancer had shrunk in size. I now felt as though I had fallen from this world and landed in a continuous nightmare. Or hell on earth may be more exact.

**Chapter 2**

_**Tai's P.O.V**_

"I have you Sky, its ok." I was shaking as I helped her to the bathroom. It was the 3rd time she had gotten sick after today's treatment. It was hard to believe this was my co-captain from soccer and best friend from child hood. Matt had phoned me last night after Sora had finally fallen asleep and asked if I could come over and be with her today because he was on a mandatory shift. I had no problem with it. I nearly lived here anyway now. Nothing has been the same since Sora talked to me that day.

**Flashback**

I fell back onto the black leather couch and stretched. "Man, I love this new place. Matt has got some style after all." I looked over to see Sora staring down at the floor and twiddling with her hands. I sat back up and lent over and grabbed her hand. "Hey, what's wrong Sora? You can tell me."

She looked at me and smiled. "I know Tai, and I need to tell you." I frowned; it wasn't like her to be this out of it. We only had one bad mouth kid this year that had a real problem with authority from younger adults. That couldn't be it, she loved those kids.

"Then what is it?"

She looked away from me and spoke low. "I have breast cancer. "

"What?" She looked back at me and shook her head. "Yup, that's it. I have to start my treatments next week, it's moving rapidly."

She looked so numb, like the pain had frozen her. "Sora I'm sorry." I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her. "Hey if you need anything at all, you know where to find me."

"I know, thank you."

**End Flashback**

She was so weak she could barely stand. I handed her the towel for her face and a small cup of water so she could rinse her mouth. Afterwords I helped her stand, I put her arm around my neck and grabbed it and put my other arm around her waist. Took a few moments but I got her back into her bed and covered up. She rolled onto her side and sighed. "I'm sorry you have to waste your day here babysitting me."

"Hey now, don't talk like that, besides I owe it to you. Remember all those days you took care of my hung over ass in collage? Huh?"

I was kneeling down beside her; I moved her hair and tucked it behind her ear gently. She was already so weak and tired. Her hair had already begun to fall out too. She looked at me and smiled weakly. "Yeah I guess so."

"That a girl. Try to get some rest and I'm going to clean up a bit. Anything I can get you first?"

"No, oh and Tai."

"Yeah?"

"I talked to Matt and we decided if you're going to be here with me all the time, like you already are, that you could move into the spare bedroom."

I smiled for the first time that day. "That would be great Sora. Now get some rest, ring if you need me.

_**Matt's P.O.V**_

I sat at my desk with my head in my hands. I was on maybe 3 hours of sleep. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't fall asleep last night. Every time Sora moved I jumped. I ran my hand through my hair and then looked down at my ring. Sighing, I thought about how much I hated being stuck here at my job while Sora was at home sick. I knew she was being taken care of, it's just I would rather be the one doing it, Nothing against Tai that was. He's my best friend and like another brother to me. Truth is, I was extremely grateful for him right now. Sora wouldn't let a nurse come to the house to care for her. She said she didn't want somebody she didn't know telling her what to do. I laughed. That was Sora, sweet Sora. Then Tai offered and she accepted. It was a sigh of relief at least. One last thing I would need to worry about. I had everybody and their brother calling me on my cell and the house, asking how she was or how I was handling it. I was about ready to turn the phones off or throw them out the window. I heard a knock on my door and looked up to see T.k. At least I was happy to see him, unless he was bringing more work with him that was.

"Hey Kiddo, what's up?"

"I figured you could use this coffee. You look rough man."

"Thanks."

"How did today's treatment go?"

"Tai text me saying she's already gotten sick 3 times and is trying to sleep now. She's one of the ones that gets worse with every treatment they said." Silence filled in around us.

That was the best part of T.k, he knew when there wasn't anything right to say to me, he just sat in silence with me and it wasn't weird. I looked over at him and noticed he was looking up at Sora and I's wedding picture. She looked absolutely stunning that day. I couldn't imagine another woman shining like she did to me. Her gown was from Italy, it was strapless and hugged her all the way down until the bottom where it twisted and flowed out. It sparkled all over. I had on a white tux to match, it was an amazing time. We were married in Paris where we stayed for two weeks after for our honey moon. It was hard to believe that I might lose her and memories would be all I had. Before tears started to swell up I looked away and spoke up.

"So, you wanna come over and have dinner with us tonight?"

"Yeah, that would be great, Sora won't mind me there?"

"Nah, not you anyway."

The rest of my day dragged on and I bore through it. T.k met me in the parking garage where we climbed into my black BMW. I worked 20 minutes away from our house, and the sucky part was traffic. I hated it. But it was quicker than the subway.

We reach the house and I took a deep breath before heading for the door. T.k looked at me and raised an eyebrow. We heard music playing along with really bad singing. I shrugged my shoulders and opened the door and walked in to find Tai in a pink apron, singing along to "Dude looks like a lady" and dusting.

"Welcome home Matt, hey T.k." He continued singing right after and then abruptly stopped and dropped the duster. My heart sank. "What's wrong?"

Tai ran passed me and my brother and into the kitchen yelling "My cake!"

T.k looked at me and quickly spoke. "I'm headed to the living room, and about that conversation earlier, I don't think you need a maid you have Tai." T.k then smacked my shoulder and left.

I slipped my shoes off and headed for the master bedroom. I quietly opened the door and looked in. Sora was sleeping soundly. It was a sigh of relief to see her actually resting. I tiptoed over to the bed and knelt down beside her. "You're so beautiful Sor and I'm so sorry I can't be here all the time." I laid my head against her and closed my eyes. I quickly opened them when I heard her soft voice.

"Your home"

"Yeah baby, I'm here. How are you feeling?"

"Tired and a little weak is all."

I gently kissed her lips "I love you"

"I love you too Matt"

"T.k is joining us for dinner that ok?"

"I probably won't be eating,but yes. I don't mind him. He brightens this place up"

"You need to try at least a little bit of soup, mom dropped some off last night for you."

"I'll try"

I spent at least an hour cuddled up on our bed just holding her. It was hard to not have her by me anymore. I didn't want to waste a second of time away from her that I didn't need too. Nothing would be worth losing time for. But the thought that I could actually lose her just killed me, I couldn't think of it. It tore my insides apart. Once more Sora's voice broke me from my thoughts.

"Matt, will you think of me the same even when all of my hair is gone?"

"I will not think of you any different than I do now."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive"

We both looked up when we heard a knock on the door. "Come in."

T.k walked in and stood by the bed. "Tai has dinner ready for us in the living room tonight."

"Thanks T.k will be right there."

I climbed off our four poster bed and walked over to Sora's side where I scooped her up into my arms and carried her out into the living room. I gently sat her down on the couch where Tai handed me her throw and covered her up.

"Here you go Sora, our moms perfectly homemade organic chicken noodle soup just for you." Sora smiled and grabbed her bowl. "Thank you T.k."

"And for desert, I made you vanilla pudding to accompany our vanilla cake." Chirped in Tai's voice. I looked over at the table that Tai had prepared and read the cake and laughed.

"Life hits hard, but you have a mean strike girl!"

We all laughed, and remembered the day Sora hit Tai with the soccer ball in the face. But the best part about that evening, Sora actually was able to eat some and keep it down.

The moments that become our daily life are the ones we realize we always miss the most. I never thought at 25, I would be fighting breast cancer with my wife or fighting myself to keep a positive outcome in my mind when everything around me told me otherwise. One thing was for sure, I wasn't about to give up the hope that kept burning in me. This life of ours wasn't over yet.


End file.
